Indians sign Orlando Cabrera

You know those environmental ads from the 1970s that had an Indian (given what this blog covers, I should emphasize that I mean a Native American and not, say, Rico Carty or Rick Manning) seeing a polluted and litter-covered landscape shedding a single tear? (Well, I don't, not really, I was born in 1980.)  But, since for some reason I am culturally aware of them, that's pretty much the response I have to the latest Indians signing.  It takes such little effort to not litter, to not spew toxic pollution into the sky, and to not sign Orlando Cabrera. And yet people do these things anyway.

Which, whatever, I'm sure there's a reason to sign Orlando Cabrera to a minor league deal, let him come to camp Grudzielanek-style, then release him in May despite the fact that he's playing better than the alternatives (again, Grudzielanek-style) to make room for a worthless player like Luis Valbuena to negative-WAR his way through the season. The move also means that the Indians could move Asdrubal Cabrera back to second base and see if that helps their woeful infield defense or it means that Orlando Cabrera is a candidate to replace Jayson "The Head Lice Eliminator" Nix.

Nope. Wrong (major league deal). Wrong (won't play as well as Grudzielanek, who was an experienced 2B and a career 90 OPS+ player, well better than Cabrera, though Cabrera has a chance to notch an extra-base hit this season -- more than Grudz did in his 30 hits last year). Wrong (AsCab's staying at shortstop). Wrong (reports have Cabrera playing second base). 0-for-4. Well, that looks pretty much identical to what Cabrera's statline will 4 days a week.

So let me be the first to say...Ugh.

A few years ago, Orlando Cabrera is a player that I'd always kind of lumped in with that group of itinerant NL East shortstops -- Alex Gonzalez with the Marlins, Edgar Renteria with the Marlins/Braves, Cabrera with the Expos back in the day. They had different strengths and weaknesses, but they all could produce 10-20 home runs, 10-20 stolen bases and could field.  They were at least quintessentially league average players in my mind.

That's changed for a couple of reasons. 1) He's old. Anyone who saw him last year had no doubt in their mind he was not about to hit 10 home runs or steal 20 bases ever again.  He was in a phenomenal hitters park in Cincinnati and notched a whopping 4 HR.  He hasn't hit 10 home runs since 2004. 2) He may have been good in my mind, but my mind was wrong (and was almost certainly rooted in not picking a shortstop until the 20th round of a 5x5 roto fantasy draft). Orlando Cabrera has been a league average player once. Once in his fourteen year career has he notched an OPS+ of 100 or greater.

So what's the rationale behind this deal?
1) We need to sign some players people have heard of, otherwise no one will come to the games.
How's this hold up? Poor. Well, they signed someone people have heard of. No one's coming to the games to see Orlando Cabrera. Hell, no one came in Cincinnati.

2) We need a motivational leader, he's been to the playoffs a ton.
How's this hold up? Poor. Yep. He's been in the playoffs. A lot lately (2004 w/ BOS, 2005, 2007 w/ LAA; 2008 w/ CHW, 2009 w/ MIN, 2010 w/ CIN). And except for the poor Angels, who gave him a three-year deal, every year that he gets to the playoffs with a team, they send him packing the next year. Oh, and the Indians aren't going to the playoffs in 2011 unless they get transferred to the International League.

3) It's a no-loss move. If he performs, we trade him; if he doesn't, we release him.
How's this hold up? Atrocious. For one, Cabrera would have to have one astonishing season to get anything in return for him. Second (and this is the reason the deal is truly awful), the Indians have 40 guys on their 40 man roster. They've been trading and trading every year, adding guys who then have to be added to the 40 man or lost in the Rule 5 draft. They're stockpiling a world of mediocre prospects, but no real blue chips. The chances of the Indians trading Cabrera for anything but salary relief is insignificant, and what's worse, whatever the Indians potentially lose off their 40-man roster will almost certainly have more value than whatever they could elicit in a trade (it's not like we have Chris Gimenez on there anymore). And, like keeping Grudzielanek (a move I actually liked, given that, because I was convinced Carmona was going to be the third Indians Cy Young winner to get traded, the 2010 Indians looked like they maybe just maybe could be respectable in an awful division), it keeps you from really finding out what you have in someone else. In Grudzielanek's case, it kept Jason Donald in the minors.  In Cabrera's case, it'll keep Jason Donald on the bench.  Whatever you think of Donald, his upside is at least Orlando Cabrera offensively, and defensively, we don't know what Cabrera can do anywhere but shortstop, and the results at short weren't exactly pretty.

Someone does have to go, though, since this is a major league deal. My vote goes to Shelley Duncan, Vinnie Pestano, or Trevor Crowe, but I can't imagine it'll be Crowe, given the complete uncertainty with Sizemore and Brantley's status as a complete unknown.

4) Indians fans who didn't know who they still liked on the team last April bought Asdrubal Cabrera jerseys because Santana wasn't in the majors yet. Now they'll have to buy new jerseys, because their 13 Cabrera jerseys will be outdated now that he will have to wear 13 A. Cabrera.
How's this hold up? You know, I came up with this, I honestly think this might be the best reasoning on behalf of the signing, except that about 38 people in the U.S. own the jersey of a current Indians player.  35 of those people are currently Indians players. (I'm presuming that the other 5 have already had theirs stolen by Lonnie Chisenhall, given his penchant for non-base thievery.)

5) He's not Nick Punto.
How's this hold up? Great signing. I LOVE Orlando Cabrera.

So I'm guessing this is how things shape up:
SS A. Cabrera
LF Sizemore
C Santana
RF Choo
DH Hafner
1B LaPorta
3B Nix/Donald
2B O. Cabrera
CF Brantley